- July
Posted By : Ava Zinn
COLD CASE: Relationship Troubles (Part 2), Asking A Woman Out

I know some of my Former Facebook friends that have recently chose to unfriend rather than work towards a resolution, those that have developed “Conspiracy Theroies” since June of 2010 may be on to something. 

After reading this article from WikiHow, my suspicions have NOW BEEN CONFIRMED after hearing the news of Jessica Berg. Fifteen years later, there are now a lots of “what if’s.” What should have taken me almost a year in middle school, took 15 years.

I know a lot of you will say, “Oh, My God! I should have helped Ava find her true love 15 years ago!” Since I am now living as a woman, I want to say that become better at asking a girl out–but so far no good results.


How to Ask a Girl Out

from wikiHow – The How to Manual That You Can Edit
Asking a girl out is no easy feat, especially when you’re a little shy, and you don’t want to ruin your chances with what feels like the girl of your dreams, but don’t worry about that because most girls will give you a chance for just trying. But there comes a time when you have to step up and be bold, or forever wonder what if. Read these guidelines, draw some courage, and ask her out! And remember, all you have to do is be yourself!


  1. Approach the girl you like. Say “Hi” or “Hey” and ask her a question or give her a compliment. It can be scary, but it’s really pretty simple. If starting conversations is not your strong point, read these articles:
  2. Flirt a little! Relax, crack a joke, and break the touch barrier.
  3. Gauge her interest. Take notice of eye contact, smiling, laughter, and enthusiasm in her responses. When you look at her, look at her face, specifically, her eyes. Pay attention to what she is saying so that when she asks you something, or stops talking, you can continue the conversation intelligently. DO NOT be staring at her body. Very few girls actually like this, and you staring at her breasts will turn her off of you and will most likely take your mind off of what she is saying, which is never good. Read her body language.
    • Notice if she touches you more often than what friends do (she’s constantly trying to touch your hand or something). If she finds excuses to do so, then you’re probably on the right track. But conversely, don’t assume that just because she isn’t touching you that she doesn’t like you. She may be too nervous to touch you yet. Likewise, don’t start touching her if she isn’t making contact with you. This usually scares girls, making them think that you are just after their body, and no girl wants to feel like an object instead of a person.
    • Observe how she looks at you. If she likes you, she will either hold your gaze for a long time or pull away immediately. Either of these could mean that she likes you. If she pulls away quickly, it means she is nervous but she still likes you. If you happen to glance at the girl and you see her staring back at you, then this means that she likes you, although she may quickly dart her head in a different direction. Remember that if you are having a conversation, girls tend to look at your face, so don’t immediately assume that she likes you if you are speaking and she is listening. Again, look at her face, specifically, her eyes. Don’t be thinking about how she kisses, because it shows on the look on your face. Listen to what she is saying and respond.
  4. Help her out. Offer to carry her books, or do something nice for her. If she refuses, then wait until she really needs help or comforting, like when she’s feeling down or just got really embarrassed. Be friendly and outgoing, and don’t be a pervert or you will never get ANY girls.
  5. Pop the question. “Hey, why don’t you come to the movies with me this weekend?” (It doesn’t just have to be the movies – it can be anything you’re interested in, and that you think she’ll enjoy too.)or you could try “what’s your favorite ice cream flavor?” then continue the conversation and offer to treat her with some.
    • Another good way to ask is “I heard about this movie, _______. What do you think about it?” If she says she thinks it looks good, ask her if shed like to go with you to see it. If she asks “as in a date?” say yes. Girls like guys who are sure of themselves much more than they do the cowardly guy who backs away from it. Make sure to ask her if she wants a snack and buy it for her; it will show that you will take care of her always.
    • Don’t make it seem like a big deal when you ask either. Another good way of asking is just by saying “I was wondering if you would maybe want to go to a concert this Saturday night. I think it would be fun if we both went together.” But it can be something else besides a concert.
  6. Keep your cool if she says no. Respond gracefully, like “No problem! Maybe another time.” and SMILE. Act as if you don’t need her, because that will make her want you more. Change the conversation to something else, or if you just want to get out of there, talk for a bit longer, following the rules from above, and then pretend you just got a text message from your mom saying you have to get home or call her or something. Don’t be harsh about it. If you’re too hard, she might feel guilty, as if she was supposed to say yes. And go about your business – As they say, there are other fish in the sea!


  • Ask her when you two are ALONE. Having others around you will stir pressure on her to say yes or no.
  • Ask her out directly. Instead of texting, getting other boys to ask her out for you, or beating around the bush, just ask her. Even if you’re nervous, this will increase your chances. Most girls will admire your confidence if you are not arrogant about it.
  • Being relaxed and confident is the difference between a comfortable silence and an unbearable silence. It’s natural to have breaks in the conversation. Don’t sweat it.
  • Try to look the girl in the eyes. This will let her know that you are going to ask her out and she will be prepared for when you ask her out and lets her know that you like her. It may take a lot of courage but its helps so much.
  • Don’t be afraid of rejection! Most girls have big hearts and will not let you down very easily, if at all. Some girls agree to one date just because you asked and they’re being nice. Don’t take it the wrong way, it simply means she likes you enough to not hurt your feelings but not enough that she’s ready for a relationship.
  • When you do approach the girl, try not to start the conversation by a “Hey, can I talk to you?” or a “Can I ask you something?”. Don’t ask her out randomly, but these lines are giant hints that you are about to ask her out. This would be awkward.
  • If she says no, just ask “Oh, OK. Is it fine if we’re still friends?”
  • Sometimes the girl may not have much experience and still not be comfortable with going out. They may say no just because they are nervous. If they bite their lip, look away, blush a lot or show any signs of nerves, give them time to think about it. After at least two or three weeks, ask again, casually, and they may say yes.
  • You can ask a friend to tell her you like her so she can get the idea. If she asks you, deny it until you are alone.


  • Be persistent, but not too persistent. If she turns you down gently, then she’s politely telling you she’s not interested. If she flat out refuses, back away. You don’t want any girl to think you’re a stalker.
  • If you have to ask her out through a friend, you will get a “no” by default. Girls do not enjoy hearing, “Hey! I’m asking you out for (Name of guy). He doesn’t like you enough to overcome his lack of confidence.” Just be a man and do it yourself! They will hear this regardless of how tactful your friend is, unless her friend is a very close friend to both you and herself.
  • Make sure you don’t have bad breath!
  • The worst thing you can do before asking a girl out is not even having a friendship with her! Become friendly with her so you are not a total stranger to her.
  • Don’t ever use an electronic device to ask her out. Girls hate that. If you are man enough to ask her out, you are man enough for a relationship.
  • Don’t assume they are giving you signs. If a girl is being friendly, it doesn’t always mean she is into you. She could be a normally friendly person trying to be nice by actually talking to everyone.

Related wikiHows

Article provided by wikiHow, a wiki how-to manual. Please edit this article and find author credits at the original wikiHow article on How to Ask a Girl Out. All content on wikiHow can be shared under a Creative Commons license.


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